Are the French rude, or simply misunderstood

The French would argue that the French aren’t rude. Foreigners just don’t understand the codes of French conversation.

Basically French society has different codes of behaviour and standards of what is considered polite. In day to day interactions with the French, you could be breaking any number of those rules without even knowing it.

One of the most important words in the French language is ‘Bonjour’. Yet, this simple word is frequently disregarded, or used improperly by foreign visitors to France. You can’t have any interaction with the French unless you say bonjour, you say it in a meaningful way, and you give them a chance to say bonjour back.

By not waiting for a bonjour in return before you ask a question, you’re not giving them time to acknowledge or give you permission to continue the conversation.

Given France’s history of revolution and motto of egalité, you can imagine why they may be a little touchy when they feel like they’re being spoken down to.

It’s all coconuts and peaches
A common reason French people are perceived as being rude is a certain ‘frostiness’ and lack of desire to engage in small talk. The reason we might feel that way is all to do with peaches and coconuts.

The world is divided into “peaches” and “coconuts”. Or at least that’s according to German-American Psychologist Kirt Lwein, who says that cultures can be divided into these two fruits.

Peaches are warm on the outside, and share personal stories, but make the mistake of thinking that is genuine intimacy and you’ll hit the core ‘inner self’ stone, Lewin argues. Whereas coconuts seem aloof and cold at first, but once you get through to their tough outer shell, they become genuine and open.

If the French are coconuts, then that makes English speaking visitors mainly peaches, and that clash can create some awkwardness. The immediate openness of “peaches” can be off putting for “coconuts”, as the French can perceive immediate openness as being superficial and invasive.
It is probably best to approach French people in a humble but very friendly way, which can often result in their outer shell “melting away”. Just don’t be surprised if a French person doesn’t want to share their own personal life right away.