Give up when you are behind !!

Ionas' 12th birthday. Bowling, then home for chocolate cake, (she begs me not to make a butterfly, not even a dragon shaped cake... just simple brownies.... pleeeeeease).

At 6.00pm, mothers start arriving to pick up their daughters, some stay for coffee and leftover brownies.

At 7.00pm, Raphaels' mother (all afternoon Mark has been references to turtles whenever someone mentions Raphaels' name... not quite sure what her name has to do with turtles, but I digress) still hasn't arrived. Raphael, is not concerned. 'Maman is always late', she says as she is whisked away by Iona for another game of table football.

At 7.30pm, I receive a call, 'I am in Le Cormelet, which house is yours?'. Always, a problem in France, in small villages and hamlets, none of the houses are named or numbered. I walk into the road to meet Raphaels' mother.

Here, my problems start.. I open my mouth and the most appalling french escapes... I can hardly believe the utter rubbish I am speaking!!... I MUST redeem myself, I invite her in for a coffee and hope that Iona and Raphael haven't devoured the remaining brownies.

As we walk, she says, 'We can speak in English if you like.'

FAILURE Nicole.

'Non, non', I protest.

Before she has taken off her coat she tells me that her name is Florence, she has 4 children, aged 15, 12, 9 and 3 and that her husband left her just before the birth of her fourth child. She tells me that it has taken her a long time to deal with the stigma of being a lone parent.

This I can understand, it is still very rare for parents to seperate or divorce in rural Brittany. Only two children in Ionas' class are divorced or seperated and there are no children in Joes' primary school with seperated parents.

I splutter on, verbs all over the place, using masculine when words are clearly feminine...  she is surprised when I say we have lived in France for 11 years... well I would be too based on my pathetic French this afternoon !!..

'Do you work?', I ask, desperate for her to talk so I don't have too.

'Yes, I studied for my phD in London and now I lecture at Vannes university, European Economics. I also write for many journals, mainly in English, have you heard of the Economist?.'

We should have spoken in English... I am defeated.